So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
When are your genitals available?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
