My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Success! We fucked roommates!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
