I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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