remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
