I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
