you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Randomize
