my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
There r osticjed everywhere
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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