I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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