i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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