she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
