I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
