I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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