As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
