He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
thus making me awesome and them whores
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize