He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
