the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize