just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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