I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
