id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
