just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
