Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
