So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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