You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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