U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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