summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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