Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize