Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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