Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
