if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
