dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
