it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
