i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
