it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
