I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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