We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
