Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
