where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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