dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize