I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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