I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
