just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i drank out of a bidet.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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