My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
