as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
