how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
