I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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