went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
