it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Randomize
