My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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