please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
vagina is talking i cant
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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