Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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