doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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