there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
