wat bout pragnant strippers??
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
my poor anus
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
