She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
