Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
