brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
